no title

I'm sitting here, listening to that one sad song over and over again. So much to do, but I can't help myself. What's wrong with me?
The sad mood of the song applies to my mood. I feel sad and desperate. Why can't I stop listening to that song? I feel good and lost at the same time. It feels good, being down. Why does that make me so happy? I feel like I'm about to cry. To cry everything that's on my heart bothering me, out.
But I can't. Tired. Exhausted. I'll let this mood last for a while, then stop listening to that song and go back to normal.

Audrey 

Satisfaction

I caught myself, thinking of you again. I know I'm not supposed to waste my time and energy by thinking of you and me and what we used to be, but I can't help it.
The thought of you makes me feel dizzy and helpless. I've fallen for you and I'm over you at the same time.
With you I experienced, how it is to love someone, but at the same time you never gave me the feeling of being loved.
Even though you never gave me anything back, while I gave you my everything, I feel satisfied.
I'm glad, that I met you. And this thing between us helped me to grow up to a more mature woman. Independent, grown-up and strong. At least that's what I wish to happen.


xxoo
Audrey

torn

What's wrong with me lately? What is my heart trying to tell me? Do I like him or not. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, think or feel at all. I never felt this lost before. Lost in my own feelings.
Why can't I decide whether it is just friendship that connects us or even more than friendship? It's so hard to tell and I'm more than confused. 
There's no one to help me out in this situation. I have to find it out by myself, but just how? Not sure how I will handle this problem or if I will try to solve it. Will I make the right decision? I'm torn. What to do now?




xxoo 
Audrey

Questions over questions

What's wrong with us lately? Why can't we talk to each other like we used to? What happened to us, to cause us to change like that? I don't feel loved anymore. It seems like you don't care about me anymore.
How am I supposed to let you know, that I feel like I'm the only one suffering in this relationship? Shall we break up? Is that the end? I still love you. I still care for you. My feelings for you ddidn't change at all. There has to be a solution. I don't want this to end... Not like that.

xxoo Audrey

2PM - Tik Tok

Just go

If you want to leave me, I won't hold you back. If you want to search new hapiness, just go and leave me alone. Forget about us and what we felt for each other. Never ever think of me again, just go. 
Find a new person to love. Someone to hold you tight, someone to comfort you, when you're sad, someone to stay with you at night. Just go...

I think I'll be okay ... at least I'm trying ... Just go

Disappointment

Why am I so stupid? Why did I let you into my heart. You took my heart and crushed it in your palms without even realizing, that you meant everything to me. It hurts, but I have to be strong. I'll be over you. I'll erase you out of my mind and someday i'll face you again, as a stronger person. But for now, I'm just disappointed, that I've let it come so far

I wanna be with you

It's late. I can't sleep. I feel so desperate.  You're gone now and there's nothing to change. Only your tears are remaining. I can feel your hate for me. 

You're hurt and I know it was my fault. I never wanted to realise that it's over but everything went wrong. I admit my mistakes. Take my heart and crush it in your palms. I just want to hold you in my arms. I just want to be with you.

xxoo 

Audrey

Like My Bass - Tha Outfit

Love is pain

I thought I was strong. In the end I realized I was wrong. It hurt when you left me. You took everything from me. Crushed my heart in your palms like it meant nothing to you. The feelings we shared, you erased them within a minute. I can't forget you. Everything I do, reminds me of you.
You weakened me. I'm not that strong girl anymore. I can't take this pain. I don't know what to do without you?
Can someone please release this pain, so I can breathe again?

xxoo

Audrey

Jealousy

"Who is not jealous, does not love." It's a phrase we all know. Is jealousy really a proof of love? BITCH PLEASE ...

In reality, the roots for jealousy are somewhere else. It's just the fear of loss and feelengs of inferiorits. It is the instinctive knowledge that one is inferior to competitors. People whose actions are determined by feelings of jealousy, participate unconsciously, that almost every other competitor deserves your partner more. Such people tend to keep their partners from all competitors away.

They already expect the loss of their partner and use the social construct of loyalty to trigger feelings of guilt. Ownership-mania is so closely associated with jealousy. How should I conduct myself in front of competitors, if I get jealous? Well, the first rule is: Make them your friends. Do not get caught if you treat your enemies derogatory or insulting. This just shows that you take these people seriously as a cometitor and you feel inferior towards them. So just always be friendly, nice and accomodating, whether the ex, or any other pussy is around.

We woman understand it very well, how to manipulate men in an effective way (e.g. bring them into the situation of competing).

It is self-esteem that a man reveals his personality faster when he is in competition with other men! Women know this instinctively and consciously, cause such situation.

xxoo

Audrey

I lied to get into her pants...

What's wrong with kids these days? Are we girls really that cheap and easy to get? Do we believe everything a guy says to us, just to get us into his bed?
Don't we have enough pride to just say no?
Aren't we sluts for being that easy to get? I really don't know what's wrong with my ladies these days. Are we really that desperate?
I don't know what I can say anymore. It's really shocking to see all those girls and womans, broken-hearted just because they got fooled. 
Please don't be so naive and trust people that easily. Of course there might be men, who have good intentions with you, but from I experienced, in most cases they don't. 
Don't be the toy a player plays with. Be the one, who's able to spot him and show him that his game didn't work out. 




Or is it just me ...being to negative?
Really short post, but that's something I just had in mind :)


much love xxoo
Audrey

Appreciation

My mother and I have a weird relation to each other. It's hard to describe, but you can say it's distraught. Our relationship is not how it should be. We don't appreciate and we don't love each other, or at least that's what I think of her. My heart gets cold, but also warm when I think of her. I've always wondered why did it have to end up like this. Is it my fault? Am I too stubborn? I have to admit that I could have avoided some arguments and fights we had, if I just hold it back. But sometimes she's been unreasonably for treating me the way she does. This one is dedicated to my dear beloved mother, who I can't stand, who I can't live with, whose appreciation I'm seeking ...

Over and over again

Everybody is a little bit superficial, they have their own taste when it comes to the looks but should care more about the character. It just came to me differently than expected. I fell in love with a person who does not meet my standards. Maybe it was not real love but I felt good when I talked to her. 

All I needed was to be near him. 

I didn't had the courage to do the first step. He moved away. I've never seen him again. 

Of course after a while you'll be okay and even though it seemed to be impossible another person just stepped into my life. But once you get in touch with that person in any way again you'll start to think about her again. 

What would have happened if we were together now? What could you've done differently? 

Since we don't have any contact, we play this game over and over again. 

To have fun is important but what I really need is a person, who will be there for me in times I need a shoulder to lean on. Someone to hold on...

It seems like that destiny doesn't want me to together with such a person. 

I wonder why ... I know I'm not that goodlooking but I always thought that one could love my personality but apparently just as obnoxious as the rest ...

xxoo 

Audrey